Non-Existent
by Lotus Hourglass
Summary: Sometimes, reality is a total bitch. Right when you start to fight off the evil, the truth slaps you real hard and wakes you up. You, your world, what you're fighting for...it's all a lie. No pairings, no OCs. Actual summary and warnings inside.
1. Prolouge

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis. fanservice and attempted humor.

A/N: I know this story sucks but that doesn't stop meeee XD But seriously, the story gets better~

* * *

Tyki led Road to her room, as it was bed time. It was an eventful day for him and the exorcists; it was the day that turned into years. He will miss the 'lady' that taught them many things.

"Go to sleep now, Road. We have more things to do tomorrow." Gold eyes seemed to laugh merrily in knowing.

"Like killing more exorcists, Tyki-pon?" He knew being a Noah was this cruel, but what can he do?

"...yes, my dear. Do you want me to tell you a story?" Interest sparked in her.

"Yes! Yes! Please do tell~" Nothing changed at all. He was still the Road yesterday. The time moved all too much, it almost confused him.

"Alright...one day, The Mad Hatter, Peter Rabbit, The Beast and The Blue Prince were doing wonderful in their respective worlds when they..."

"They what?"

"They mysteriously disappeared." The little Noah girl gasped.

"How so?"

"Each of them went missing at the same time."

"Oh no! The other characters must be worried!"

"Well dear, it seems no one noticed though."

"How can that be?!"

"Honestly, I don't know at first. I'll explain it later."

"But Tykiiii-"

"Hush, I'll tell you dear, I promise."

What a pity...

...they did not cease to exist in this cruel fiction.

**TBC  
**

* * *

****A/N: Reviews please? QAQ Cail, over and out.


	2. Chapter 1: Surprise!

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis. fanservice and attempted humor.

A/N: Meh, I update quick today. This fic is dedicated to my friends who were fighting about Allen XDD But mainly because I want to improve more. Hehe. One does not simply mix ANGST and HUMOR at the same time XDD

* * *

The first thing that registered on her mind was...

"Shiomaigahd, DO NOT DESTROY MAI HAUS!"

The time seemed to stop when she shouted.

She recognized that WHITE HAIR AND CROWNED CLOWN.

She recognized that EYEPATCH AND OZUCHI KOZUCHI.

She recognized that SCOWL and MUGEN.

And how could she forget the smell of CIGAR and THE TOP HAT?

It can't be real, though.

It was all in her head.

"Woah shit. I need my medicine." She said to herself as she fumbled for her medicine bag, not taking her eyes off the strangers. "Wait. I stopped taking medicine since last month. I've gone batshit crazy."

In her house. Posing like the ones on the cosplay skit.

"Idiots! There's no time to stop and dawdle like morons! There's a fucking Noah here!"

She began to tremble violently. 'This couldn't be happening...'

"Hmm, that little miss is brave~ I suppose I could finish her off first then you exorcists will be next..."

But it was all too real.

She took a deep breath and shouted,

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU COSPLAYERS GET INTO MY HOUSE?!"

"Cosplayers...what the fuck is that?"

"Maybe it means strangers. I dunno, Yuu."

"She's right...how did we get here anyway?"

Before she could say more, Tyki already ghosted his hand around her heart.

"You bastard Noah!" Allen gritted his teeth as he can't do anything to save the girl. If he attacks recklessly, he might just end her life.

All of the sudden, the girl laughed.

"You are brave. How can you laugh in this situation?" Tyki asked.

"Attack me, Kanda Yuu." she said.

"Are you fucking crazy? And how the fuck do you know my name?"

"Come on, do you really want to know?"

"But miss!" Lavi protested, worried for her sanity.

"Shut up Bookman! Just do it...**YUU-CHAN**!"

Kanda, in annoyance, stabbed the girl with Mugen, knowing it won't do any harm to her.

"...I knew it." She giggled like crazy as the katana passed through her.

They thought the girl became insane as she laughed more.

"You guys are real!"

"What do you mean, we're fucking real? We are as fucking real as we can get!"

"No, you don't understand~ None of you does~"

Well damn. It stressed them out big time.

**TBC**

* * *

A/N: That's all for today. My mind's in the gutter. Hehe. Might update again soon. VERY VERY SOON. OwO Cail, over and out~


	3. Chapter 2: Kanda's dismay

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis. fanservice and attempted humor.

A/N: Sooo...I had a good day today. Yay! Aaaand this is for all of you readin' thar~ Enjoysss~ But it's really crappy though.

* * *

"Oi oi Tyki, don't leave. You're practically a kid in this place so I suggest your tushie stays here. And that goes for the rest of you too."

"Tushie?" He raised his eyebrow at that.

"Your butt." The girl said flatly.

He earned a snicker from the redhead. Looking around him, there were some things he didn't recognized. A seemingly box with screen on a rack, flat round things that looks like rainbow lying on the wooden bed, glossy books with drawings on it and many others.

"What are those?" He said as he sat on the bed beside the round things.

"Oh? Those are DVDs. We watch movies with it."

"Movies?"

Oh brother. This will be a long afternoon.

"A demonstration wouldn't hurt, I guess."

She took one of the disks and placed it in the DVD player. She turned on the television and adjusted the tangled wires.

"Anak ng tokwa, wag ngayon..."* she mumbled, annoyed at the thing.

"Umm, what are you doing exactly?" Allen asked.

"E-Explaining is a pain in the ass so I'm...ahaha you know...d-d-demonstrating?"

In her mind she was a nervous wreck. 'Dammit girl! This is why you learned to speak English! Stupid stupid stupid!'

Just then, the door slid open to reveal another girl.

"Kaze-chan! Let's do another cover today~" she said happily.

"We have no time for this bullshit." Kanda glared.

The screen was one as it went from blue to white, with words written on it.

"Ice...Age?" Lavi read.

"Whaaaat? I like Ice Age!" She looked at them as if they were judgmental.

"Erin, I'm sorry but we currently have...unexpected guests."

The raven haired girl stared at them. And stared more.

Uh-oh.

"LAVI, ALLEN! HOLD KANDA QUICK!"

"What the actual fuck?!-"

They didn't knew why but by the sudden charging of the girl made them aware. They both held Kanda's arms strongly as the girl was near.

"I dunno what dah hell is goin' on but hey I'm trusting missy wit dis!"

Tyki was amused.

Erin looked up to Kanda.

And stared.

"He's close to the real thing, Kaze. Can I?"

Her eye twitched as she knew what she was going to do next.

She placed her arm around his neck and dragged him down in a tight headlock.

"Hmm...smells like soba. Kanda enough for me."

"Ack-!"

"What is she doing?" The Portuguese Noah mused.

"Eriiiin. He's reaaaal. I know you wouldn't believe meeeee. Buuut-" 'Kaze' whined, interrupted.

"I know, I heard ya screaming your head off earlier. Can't be your cosplayer friends. Too suspicious." She said casually, playing with Kanda's Mugen. "Heehee, Innocence activate~ Deactivate~ Activate~ Deactivate~" She said while she moved her fingers to and fro on the blade without a care.

"Oi stop that!"

'Kaze' could only blink. "Wow. This is why I salute you."

"Your parents are coming back from work already. Why won't you tidy up your place?"

"You mean...naku patay ako nito.**" 'Kaze' panicked.

"Calm down! So, are we going to throw them outside your house or inside your room?" Erin asked, smiling. Creepy fact: She's one of those I.S. people.

"Neither! We keep them here in the living room!"

She clumsily picked up all the disks and arranged them in a container. She was acting like there's utter chaos everywhere while Erin was calm.

"What shall I say? What shall I sayyyyy?!"

"Just lie, Kaze. But we can't hide them forever."

The girls looked at them and sighed.

"What's going on if may I know?" Lavi asked.

"It's a long story."

"Try making it short." The redhead replied stubbornly.

"Okay fine, long story short, my parents are going to arrive in a few minutes and you people are the unexpected guests which I have to attend to and at the same time, GATHER MY COOL!"

Yep, she is definitely freaking out, my friends.

"Ugh, I wasn't prepared for this!" She sulked.

TBC

* * *

A/N: Man, I'm feeling lazy tonight. This was intended to be long but hey, I'm running out of time. TTwTT

* = -dah literal meaning- Son of tofu, not now...

** = I'm gonna dieee

XD Maybe I'll update again later~ Cail, over and out~


	4. Chapter 3: She lied

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis. fanservice and attempted humor.

A/N: Ahh so many ideas to write down, getting jeopardized...damn my day was definitely on my crazy memories list. Anyways, enjoy~

* * *

Allen could only watch the two girls clean up the whole house. The size was definitely average. Easy to move around, yet the things that were there seemed to take up so much space. When he looked back at the Lavi, he was already focused at the moving drawings(?)...the movie(?) as 'Kaze' had called it.

/Sid: [about the baby] I bet he's hungry.  
Manny: How 'bout some milk?  
Sid: Ooh, I'd love some!  
Diego: Not you. The baby.  
Sid: Well, I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.  
Diego: You're a little low on the food chain to be mouthing off, aren't you...  
Manny: [in a shout that echoes] ENOUGH!/

The Noah wasn't exactly in the mood to think about the girl's current dilemma or the movie even. He didn't show it, but he wanted answers. How they got in the place, why and wait- is the redhead exorcist watching the movie?!

"I've never seen those kinds of animals before. Elephants don't have short ears, tigers don't have very long canines and sloths don't even look like that!" Lavi protested.

"Of course you don't! Those animals were long extinct even before you guys existed!" "Kaze' said as she mopped the floor aggressively. She was in real haste while Erin was just finished washing the dishes. She was too calm for her own good.

"?!"

"It's true. If you look it up on Wikipedia, you'll find it there. They existed thousands of years ago. And the sloth was an exaggerated version."

"Wikipedia?" Lavi was clueless.

"Ugh...I didn't knew it would be this hard meeting anime characters..."

"Anime what?" Kanda was the same.

It was when the door slid open again, this time revealing two adults that has the same features like 'Kaze'.

"I take it they're your parents, hm?" Tyki asked.

"Diane, anong nangyayari dito?*" 'Kaze' froze as she heard her real name. She laughed nervously as she approached them.

"Uhh, they're my friends from...another countries! T-They planned a surprise visit for me...hehehe..."

The middle aged man raised his eyebrow in suspicion. "Ba't sila naka costume?**"

"Pa, surprise visit nga eh. Alam mo na, para bongga.***"

His serious face changed into one with sincere smile. "Oh, okay...but for how long are you staying here?" He asked them.

None of them can respond. All of them knows that they still do not know how the things go in this world.

"Pa! Wag mo naman sila i-interrogate nang ganyan! Alam mo bang nanakawan sila ng bagahe sa airport kanina? Kamuntikan na nga makuha yung pera.***" Diane lied.

"Ano? Ang malas naman ng mga kaibigan mo. Ang yaman ng hitsura oh!*****" Her mom chided.

"Ma! Porket foreigner mayaman agad? Di ba pwedeng basta napakagwapo muna?******"

Meanwhile, Erin was playing with Kanda's hair.

"Look Kaze, I have mustache!" She called as she placed formed the ends as a mustache.

The raven haired samurai just had to keep all his frustrations in as it would not bode well for all of them.

Poor Kanda.

There's also a big problem for him.

Apparently, Soba is hard to find in the Philippines.

* * *

A/N: And there you go folks~ Am I too harsh? O3O And Kaze lied big time~ XDD

Translation time~

* = Diane, what is happening here?  
** = Why are they wearing costumes?  
*** = Pa, it is a surprise visit. You know, epicness.  
**** = Pa! Don't interrogate them like that! Didn't you know that their baggage was stolen at the airport earlier? Good thing the money wasn't taken away.

***** = What? Your friends have a terrible luck. They look like rich people!

****** = Ma! Is that our instinct; foreigner = rich? Can't it be just freakishly handsome?

I feel so...alive. 8D Cail, over and out~!


	5. Chapter 4: Help!

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis, fanservice and attempted humor.

Midnight Phantasma- o3o Maybe I got that wrong or maybe it's for the mentions of several DGM fanfictions and doujinshis... I dun remember dah real reason!

Fact: When I said that there will be no OCs, I meant that I'm going to use names of real people namely my friends and myself. I can't think of any other characters and settings for this other than my lifestyle DX

A/N: Just when I thought I wouldn't be updating now...Well let's ignore that fact, back to the story guys~

* * *

Diane has gone to her last resort; CONTACTING HER FRIENDS.

At chatbox...

Kaze: VIVI-HIMEEEEEE HINDI KO NA ALAM ANG GAGAWIN KOOOOO

Alvie: Hala ka, ano bang meron? o:

Kaze: Mahirap...ipaliwanag...gah! DX Kung naging instant parent ka anong gagawin mo?!

Alvie: == Parang di ko keri yan ah

Kaze: Kailangan mo to makitaaaa OAO Bukas, ipapakita ko sa'yo!

Alvie: Hindi ba pwedeng sa Friday na lang yan?

Kaze: Naku, hindi makakapaghintay to! Kailangan bukas na eh! Baka hindi ka pa maniwala sa akin!

Alvie: Sige. Dun pa rin sa lobby?

Kaze: ...mukhang di pwede. Sa QQ Cafe tayo.

Alvie: Ano ba meron talaga kasi?! o:

Kaze: At dalhin mo na din life savings mo kakailanganin natin yan

Alvie: HALA?!*

And at the other...

Kaze: Kaos-nee! I'm so sorry but you can't go to our house right now... ;A; I suggest you rent a place for the meantime

Kaos: How come?

Kaze: Let's just say...it's both good news and bad news. =A=

Kaos: As in...? Now I'm intrigued...

Kaze: You know QQ Cafe right? Behind the school?

Kaos: Yeah why?

Kaze: I want you to go there and I'll explain it all to you.

Kaos: You can tell me here in the chat!

Kaze: Nooooooo DX I want you to see it for yourself!

Kaos: Okay...

"Diane! Asikasuhin mo tong mga kaibigan mo, hindi yung nag-cocomputer ka na naman diyan!**"

"Opo ma!***"

"Hey Kaze, mom's probably looking for me. I have to go." Erin said as she waved goodbye at the door.

"Oh brother."

The bun haired girl attended to the boys at once.

"I'm so sorry Allen. Everything just have to be like this."

"No need to apologize. After all, it's us who were-"

"Why the hell are you apologizing at her?"

"Kanda, that's rude!"

"Shh, Yuu. I'm watching."

Kanda's eye twitched in annoyance. "Usagi has gone retarded."

"Will you please keep your comments to yourself just for once, Kanda-sama? If papa hears you cursing he'll think that you guys are bad influence. And then you won't be able to stay here." Diane said in a whisper.

"You know exorcist, the lady is right." Tyki was unusually cooperative.

Kanda only grunted in response.

"I promise, we'll settle things tomorrow. That way everybody's happy."

And her new problem when she gets back from school tomorrow?

THE START OF HER PARENTHOOD.

Oh the horror.

* * *

A/N: I'm still feeling lazy. Daaamn I need a workout. XD

Again, it's translation time~

* = Kaze: VIVI-HIMEEEEEE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMOREEEE

Alvie: Eh? What happened?

Kaze: It's...hard...to explain...gah! What would you do if you became an instant parent?!

Alvie: == Seems like something I can't do

Kaze: You need to see thissss OAO I'll show you tomorrow!

Alvie: Can't it be at Friday instead?

Kaze: No! It can't wait! It needs to be tomorrow! You might not believe me!

Alvie: Okay..at the lobby?

Kaze: It seems we can't. We go to QQ Cafe.

Alvie: What is it really?! o:

Kaze: And bring your life savings, we will need it

Alvie: EH?!

** = "Diane! Attend to your friends, not that you're using the computer again!"

*** = "Yes ma!"

And that's all for tonight folks. Cail, over and out~


	6. Chapter 5: Butterfly Queen

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis. fanservice and attempted humor.

Fact: I use Tagalog language because I'm bound to get my story crazy realistic XD I'm a Filipino for Rilakkuma's sake!

A/N: I'M FREE~ DAH WORLD SET ME FREE~ Okay that's good enough for a warm-up. o3o

* * *

Diane's all good for tomorrow and so are the exorcists and the Noah.

The new problem is...where will be they SLEEPING.

"No. Definitely not the 'LIVING ROOM-GARAGE-KITCHEN-THROWN-INTO-ONE' shit." She said to herself.

As I've mentioned before.

Not so wide spacey.

"DAAAAD!"

"Yes, what is it?"

"Can they sleep in my room instead?"

"PERO DIANE-*"

"I'll be sleeping here in the living room with mom, I promise~"

"Hindi sa kwarto?**"

"Opo.***"

"Teka...nasaan si Gabby at Doris?****"

"...lagot.*****"

...

Inside the room...

"I want to get out of here."

"Suck it up Kanda. We don't have much choice here."

"Shut up, stupid beansprout. I am not going to sleep in the same room with you retards. ESPECIALLY WITH A DAMN NOAH."

"I'd say likewise, kitchen knife exorcist. But seeing how things turned out, it might be fun~"

"I hate YOU."

"Hey Yuu, do you think the outside world is cool?"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT."

Just then, two puppies approached them.

"Aww, Yuu! The girl's got pets~"

Allen remembered the dog in his past and smiled sadly.

"Hey little fellow..." He said as he carried the brown puppy

The brown puppy wagged his tail and licked his face in response.

As Tyki was about to get the other one, it whimpered and backed away.

"Tyki, don't you dare..."

Diane cleared her throat to get their attention. Allen placed the heavy puppy down.

"Gabby, Doris. Out. Now."

The puppies understood and went out of the room.

"Alright boys, it's time to sleep. Nobody will fight and destroy the house. NOBODY. Please. I love my lifestyle as it is, don't ruin it. Seriously."

No reply.

"I have a mat here ready. If you guys want to sleep beside each other, cool. If not, still cool. The room is enough for you boys to move around in your sleep. Kanda, you will sleep beside Allen and Lavi whether you like it or not. Why? Because butterfly queen will get the bed. Unless you want to squeeze yourself between him and the wall."

"That's it, Allen and I will get the mat~ Yuu gets the happy corner~ And wait- Tyki is getting the bed?!"

"Pfft butterfly queen!" Allen held his laugh.

"Oi why am I getting the corner now?!"

"Yuu, I don't wanna die yet. But if you want, Allen's company is so much more-"

"LAVI ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME KILLED?!"

Diane sighed. This is to be expected.

In the end, Kanda got the bed, Tyki got the mat, Allen and Lavi were sleeping on the opposite corners.

The next day...

Diane's parents has gone to work, and she's already starting to prepare for school. She peeked at the door to checked if nothing's wrong.

Allen was close to kicking Lavi's face, Tyki was snoring lightly and Kanda was in a meditating position.

"Hey guys...in a few minutes we'll be going now."

Kanda stopped meditating and got up.

"Oh and Kanda?"

"What?" She was about to say something about Mugen but then she sighed. It will never work.

"...nevermind."

Outside...

Lavi was amazed. There were carriages without horses and it was moving by its own. People wear a foreign fashion. There were houses that looked so modern, it stood out.

"Oh my god, I can't believe I'm spending my 1000 for them..."

Allen looked at Diane who was sulking again.

"Oi, where are we going?"

"Uhh...to my school! But I guess you have to stay at QQ Cafe while I go to my classes..."

"QQ Cafe?" Tyki wondered.

"Erm...you'll know when we get there."

"Are we going to ride those carriages?!" Lavi's eye sparkled excitedly.

"...yeah, we'll take the jeepney."

"ALRIGHT! LET'S GOOOO~"

Somehow, the redhead's enthusiasm was making everyone nervous.

Oh well. When the noon strikes, it'll be better...

...or she hoped.

* * *

A/N: My laziness gets the better of me. I really swear.

Soooo~ It's translation time~

* = "BUT DIANE-"

** = "Not in the room?"

*** = "Yes (politely)"

**** = "Wait...where's Gabby and Doris?"

***** = "...I'm dead. (idiomatic expression/?/)"

I don't think this is long enough...OTL

Bai bai~

Cail, over and out~


	7. Chapter 6: All Reasons Lost

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis. fanservice and attempted humor.

A/N: Geez today's rather a good day to be crazy -yet again- but my parent's going along too. OAO I MEAN, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONLY ONE THAT'S CRAZY! I'll skip from the Jeepney Ride part for now...

At the Cafe...

"Boys, I want you to stay here in the Cafe. Until I get back from the class, none of you are going to leave."

"And why should we listen to you?"

"That's just you, Kanda." Allen exchanged glares with Kanda.

"You've seen the place we're currently in, exorcist."

"The Noah has a point, Yuu. We're not familiar with almost everything here." Lavi turned to Diane. "When ya said you'll be goin' ta 'settle things', yer gonna explain everythin'...right?"

"Yes, but I want you to wait for me. Things are bound to get smoother once I do return. Okay? I'll be back after three hours. Oi, Allen-sama, Kanda-sama...are you guys listening?" She sweatdropped as neither was paying attention. "Oh brother. Lavi-sama, I'm leaving you in charge. Keep an eye on them and at the same time, do something that will keep you busy."

"Like what?"

"Play poker with Allen or something. But no strip poker; I don't want you guys to attract attention now." Lavi gulped in nervousness. "I have to go." She went out of the Cafe hastily.

"...she does know that Allen's a demon when it comes to poker...right?"

Time Skip Time Skip Time Skip

"Royal straight flush!" Lavi groaned as he set down his cards while Kanda slammed his on the table. Tyki was just being plain amused.

"Aww Allen! This is the fifteenth time you won!"

"The beansprout's cheating."

"Kanda, just admit it. You're a loser when it comes to this!"

"This is very amusing."

Meanwhile, a girl seemed to be waiting outside for someone. When she turned around to take a look inside the Cafe, her eyes SPARKLED. She immediately went to approach the four and took out a piece of paper.

"D-Do you guys...b-by any chance know Kaze?"

Everyone stared at her silently for a moment then Lavi spoke up.

"Yah. We know her. Why, miss?" The girl quickly recovered from her stutter.

"I'm Kaze's friend. You can call me Kaos~! By the way, you guys are epic cosplayers! You guys look like the real deal! Can I have your autographs? May I? May I?" Kaos said excitedly.

Cosplayers...that word again.

Somehow, with the way Kaos was acting...Tyki had a bad feeling.

"What do you mean...like the real deal?" The Noah asked.

"That stupid nezumi-onna* should've told us everything before she left us!"

"She'll come back! That's what she said, right Allen?"

Now this got Kaos confused.

"What's exactly going on?"

"We don't know either. One moment we were fighting Tyki and now we're here sitting in the Cafe." Allen stated.

"You guys are so...in character." Kaos went lost in her own world.

"She said she'll be back in three hours. I think two hours already passed." That seemed to snap her out of her daydream. She looked at her watch just to check.

"Oh, it's already 11:29. One hour more."

"That's it, I'll look for her." Kanda stood up, annoyed. This time, it was Tyki who held him back.

"She knows everything, exorcist. You will have to wait. We all have to. Unless you want me to rip your heart out right here right now, that is." The Noah threatened with malice. Lavi bit his lip as the atmosphere got tense. He reached out for his Innocence just in case. Allen was being cautious as well.

Kaos realized that it wasn't the things she knew as it is. Everything was serious from the start. She could feel adrenaline rushing through her veins as it dawned in on her.

Tyki smiled as innocently as he can.

"All we have to do is wait and we will get the answers we want."

"Tch, bastard Noah."

Dear heavens, why does the hour seemed to be like an eternity?

A/N: Aaaand cut! I am having a heart attack over hereeee! MEDIC PLEASE!

Anyways, translation time!

* = rat woman

Yeah that's what I intend Kanda to call me...for reasonable reasons.

Cail, over and out!


	8. Chapter 7: Questions

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern/real world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis. fanservice and attempted humor.

Fact: There will be lots of girls in this story. They (my friends) want the fanservice so much I can't deny them that. DX I'm just a fellow writerrrr

A/N: Sooo…Last night I can't get over with the ideas for my story. It kept me up until 3AM. Damn. And okay, no Tagalog language in this. But I might still put it on the next chapter...for added hilarity. Come on, everything is so much funnier in Tagalog O3O BTW Sorry about dah leyt updeyt! Please dun kill meeee

Midnight Phantasma- I missed you buddy D8 Thanks for the support~ I'll seriously love you forevah! Hope ya like dah new chappie hunny bun~

* * *

At the lobby in the school...

"Alvie, let's gooooo!" The ROA- Ruizian Otaku Organization- President was half annoyed at the fact that Kaze was acting so...desperate.

"Kaze what's wrong with you?" The bun haired girl only continued to pull her arm towards the gate behind the school.

"YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!"

"Just tell me!"

"I can't without the proof!"

"I won't come with you until you TELL ME!"

"Did you bring what I told you to?"

"YOU WERE ACTUALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THAT?!"

"Of course yes!"

Just then, Alyssa noticed the oddity all over. Kaze wasn't usually like this; she's more into being overly happy and hyper. But she's turned into a DESPERATE kind of hyper. What about, she wanted to know. And hey, she's dragging in it Alvie too. Whatever it was.

"Hey guys," she greeted. "Is there something I should know...?"

In Kaze's mind, her plan just blew out of proportion. She was way too obvious on her discomfort.

"...ahaha. Alright, you guys win."

"What are you talking about? Is this some kind of some serious situation?" Alyssa asked.

"RIDICULOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE SITUATION."

She wanted to hide under the concrete floor.

"THAT'S IT; YOU TWO ARE COMING WITH ME!" Kaze grabbed their hands and dragged them out of the school.

"KAAAAAAZEEEEE!" Both shouted in unison.

At the cafe...

Kaos was shifting in excitement and nervousness as she looked at the guys.

'Too...much...fanservice going on...! I'm gonna thank Kaze for this!' she thought happily, even though she still had no idea over the whole situation.

All the boys were too tense. The only thing that bothers them is how the hell the girl is calm.

Just like how Kaze/Diane acted the first time.

The chimes sounded as the glass door opened. When everyone turned to look at the one who entered, relief was evident in their faces.

"KAZE-CHAN!"

"K-Kaos-nee, you're here too?"

"Can't you remember? You PMed me about going here! I didn't expect you to bring along some in-chara cosplayers! They're so effin' hot!"

Oh god. This is the problem she's been worrying about.

Twin confusion was seen in Alvie and Alyssa.

"This...is your problem? Your cosplayer friends, Kaze?"

She slapped her forehead in dismay.

"Just...just sit on the chairs first folks. Then I'll explain."

When Alvie and Alyssa sat on the vacant chairs, she started to open her bag and took out something.

Everyone was very familiar with what it was.

Or rather...who it was.

"TIM!" Allen exclaimed.

The yellow golem /twicthed/ as it puked out something with what seemed to be a butterfly.

Tyki's butterfly.

It fluttered around them all while the exorcist glared at Tyki who just smiled like it was nothing.

"You guys are impatient. Can't you just wait for me 'til I get back? I always keep my word. You just have to send them!"

It left Kaze's friends dumbstruck.

"H-How...did it even...?" Alvie stuttered in shock.

Because there's no way in hell that 'Timcanpy' is a prop. And so is 'Teez'.

"Girls, I know you already know them but still I want you to meet...Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki. Boys, meet my friends Kaos, Alvie and Alyssa. My name is Diane, also known as Kaze; which is what my friends call me. Now that I've said it...questions are welcome, thank you very much." She said hastily.

Allen was the first to raise his hand.

"What is this world anyway?"

"This...is what you can call the real world."

"Real world? What are you trying to say?" Lavi asked.

"You boys are a product of fiction. You do not mean to exist here, and yet here you are." She shrugged.

"Kaze! Mind if you speak English?! I'm still halfway to understanding this...this talk..!" Kaos felt left out.

"I am speaking English!"

"Then get to the point!" Alyssa complained.

"These guys," she pointed out, "came out of nowhere, in my house, acting like there's some skit when there's not a single camera!"

"And...?"

"DUDE MY HOUSE IS EFFIN' LOCKED FOR HEVLASKA'S SAKE!"

"How did you know if they're not...robbers?"

"FROM THE OUTSIDE?"

Now they caught on what she meant.

"...if it helps, I stabbed myself with Mugen. You guys should try it some time."

Now...the real problem starts.

"HOW COULD YOU TELL THEM THE TRUTH SO SOON?!" All the girls exclaimed as they slammed their hands on the table, standing up abruptly.

"I was on the TELESERYE BASIS, I swear!"

Well, one thing is for sure...

...you can't fix stupid.

* * *

A/N: Shiomaigahd it's still sho effin' laaaaaaaaaaaame OTL Oh well.

Cail, over and out~


	9. Chapter 8: Bitter, aren't you?

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern/real world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis. fanservice and attempted humor.

A/N: Shame on me. Haven't updated for quite a long while. We have the storms and the school days to blame. Hogahd I wanna bury myself now. But heeeeeeeeeeeeeey this is where the angst comes in, baby~! The genres I put up did say this story was a mix of angst and humor...it can't all be too happy. Please enjoy le chappie for mah compensation!

Midnight Phantasma- Yo, sorry for the very late update! If ya read my Author's Note, you'd understand QwQ Hope you like dis new chappie~

* * *

"So you're saying we're fictional characters from a Japanese comic book and we're living a life that is entirely dedicated to the plot line of the story?" Lavi asked slowly as it started to sink in.

Kaze could only nod nervously.

"Oi, how the hell are we going to know if you're not playing a prank on us?" Kanda spat.

And this is where Kaos worked her magic.

No, not actual magic, numnuts.

She took out one of the D Gray-man manga she kept (she never realized it would be handy at a time like this other than slapping the DGM fandom to her peers with it) from her bag pack and handed it to Kanda who grudgingly took it.

Allen's hands started to tremble. 'Everything...was a lie? The holy war? My friends...?Mana? Even...me?'

"Moyashi."

The white haired exorcist didn't respond. He stared blankly, his negative thoughts getting the better of him. Kanda, annoyed, hit Allen with the manga /hard/ to snap him back to reality.

"The hell is that for, BaKanda?!" Allen complained. At least he was back to normal.

"Don't fret just yet, baka moyashi. Even if what they're saying is real, we don't have to act like soulless shitheads and sulk about it." Kanda deadpanned. He started to read the book silently, with Tyki reading behind him. He could care less about the Noah looming over him but it was a _disadvantage_ because the brats won't let him act up if something happens.

Something along the lines of peace, order and normality.

Hypocrites.

Kanda could care less about the truth. If it is what he lived for, then 'to the hell with everything' as he would likely say. Life goes on, as stupid as it seems now.

Lavi felt the same thing Allen had a while ago.

But for him, it is unclear whether he is free of responsibilities now that they're out of the book or they were here for a reason. Somewhere deep inside, a part of him has longed to be freed of the restriction his title as a Bookman had on him. And another part of him, his Bookman side, told him that whatever purpose they had to be here, it could be important. For them to see through the whole story...it is a great advantage.

Tyki's mind was thinking along the those lines, too. It could only mean that he did not became a Noah out of his choice but the story. His own person was made for the story to be a villain.

The raven's hands gripped the book tightly. Those drawings are _accurate_. And by the chapter he was currently in, it was Kanda's past.

Alvie turned to Kaos and sighed. "You just have to give him Chapter 20."

"What? I don't have the first chapter with me!" Kaos shrugged.

Alyssa could only say, "He just went through _the feel trip_."

Lavi snatched the manga, his emerald eye darkening. "We'll be taking these with us. We'll need it."

"Woah, woah! Hold the fuck up!" Kaze started, standing up abruptly. "What the hell are you spouting now?"

"You said it yourself. This is a series of books. We could defeat the Earl with this. If we collect more of these-"

Kanda had enough. He grabbed Lavi by his shirt and dragged him outside the cafe. The rest of them became worried, except for Tyki who was still deep in thought. "Can you hear yourself, baka usagi?! Knowing our future is one thing but if we bring that shit with us, we'll change the whole goddamn thing!"

"That's the point! We can defeat the Millennium Earl and the Noah Family with it!"

"And you're supposed to be the most composed of us! You're fucking neutral* for fuck's sake!"

Kaos went outside to hear their argument and deemed it a good time to explain more.

"Well, bad news Lavi. The series isn't finished yet."

The two exorcist turned to her in attention.

"Even if you can collect all those chapters, you can't because the progress is slow."

"How can that be? Series of books are meant to be finished!" Lavi protested.

"Yeah well, not in this world. Come on boys, you've just heard the gist of everything." She stated calmly.

They could only follow her back to the cafe silently.

Sometimes, reality is a total bitch. Right when you start to fight off the evil, the truth slaps you real hard and wakes you up. You, your world, what you're fighting for...it's all a lie.

**TBC**

* * *

* = Kanda meant that Lavi is a Bookman that can choose either side but not by his will and he's not to act stupidly to side one and change what is already written.

* * *

A/N: Hah. Kanda went to a feel trip. Yay. I'm so cruel~! Review your thoughts, peeps~

Gin-shiyou, over and out.


	10. Chapter 9: Immortality is not pleasant

Title: NON-EXISTENT

Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Tyki were mysteriously sent to the modern/real world. They learn the painful truth, and for once, they lived another life like a new chance for them.

Warning: Mentions of fanfictions, doujinshis. fanservice and attempted humor.

A/N: Sembreak is coming~ So let's celebrate with a new chappie with lots of more emotional shit coming from Kandy~ Feel Trip full throttle~ Teehee~ Dun kill me peeps, I really haf so many things to do. Like...like fitting myself in le coffin! College life... but anyways,I love you all~

Midnight Phantasma- Shoot me down please. I was out for a very long time.

Oo0FullmetalGeassKnight0oO- I'm glad you do hun.

Awsomeangel- We'll see on the future chapters.

* * *

Kanda is not a fool. He knew very well that he is nothing but a replacement of the original; hence considered inhuman. Nobody could point him out as a demon, though. A vessel of memory, something temporary. The lotus in his hourglass reminds him so, in the everyday of his existence. There's absolutely no reason for him to have a heart that everybody always had and worth more than all the things in this world. It is a weakness and the strength of humanity in all its glory.

God has so much faith in them, it made him jealous.

Maybe it was the reason the Millennium Earl wanted to eradicate the human race so bad. The Noahs were once human and in their current state all that is left is their existence so irrational, they had to be the villains. Immortality? Many had desired them. But being the Second Exorcist he is, he knew, that the so called immortality is all but pleasant.

He lived and died, now reborn...why do people have to go through drastic lengths just to keep his memories alive?

The raven isn't immortal, but his constant healing even with fatal wounds is such a pain. It was more annoying that dying once. It's like they kill you everyday and then they revive you. Repeatedly.

Entirely, he calls it 'bullshit'.

He wasn't wrong.

The humanity thought the 'saviors' are going to lose. Losses grew in number with each passing minute. They are desperate to win.

But as the beansprout had came along and fought with them, he changed. The way he thought things change, the way he see people changed... a lot of things changed along with him.

They had gone so far.

And then he finds out that he existed as somebody who never existed in reality.

That didn't made sense.

But what Lavi is implying is more non-sensible.

"Hoshino-sensei is sick. She had to stop continuing the series for the meantime. She could only do some oneshots, though. Only not DGM related." Kaze explained.

He died a **_little_** inside.

Come on, let's believe him for now.

"What's going to happen to us now?" Allen asked.

"You guys have to stay over with Kaos. I can't keep you all in the house forever. You know that much, Allen." Kaze replied sadly.

Lavi was silent.

"You're right."

"Don't worry...she'll take care of you." The bun haired girl averted her eyes to her friend.

"Babysitting is my forte." Kaos snickered mockingly. "No worries."

"We're not kids, woman." Kanda scoffed.

"Sure you're not." Alyssa rolled her eyes as she said so. "They need clothes. _Normal ones_."

"This is why I brought you people here. You know my sense of fashion sucks. And don't worry about the money. I'll," Kaze swallowed the lump of air in her throat, " pay for the expense."

Suddenly, all of them heard a loud sipping sound.

"...Noah, **what the fuck**?"

Tyki could only blink.

"What? I got thirsty with all of your exorcist drama. I need a drink."

Alvie asked nervously, "Where did you get that...?"

"From the very nice lady who makes the drinks. She suggested I try this. This...Mango milk tea is good."

...well shit. Kaze has to pay for that.

**TBC**

* * *

A/N: I ended the chapter with just that. So short. Oh well.

Gin-shiyou, over and out~


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